Have you ever had that feeling, you know, like you're being watched? It's a worry or slight apprehension. Sure it's agitating, but it's nothing to be scared of. Probably just nerves. Classic butterflies in your tummy. But that anxiety turns to unease as the floorboards creek. I'm talking about the creeps, the willies, the Heebie Jeebies! All it takes is a tiny twinge of angst like a pinprick or a bee sting to send a bucket of ice water cascading down your spine. I'm talking about dread. Shiver as a moment of foreboding gives way to alarm and panic inside you. Fright warps your mind which throbs as the walls close in around you. Then, finally, when everything is quiet, the moment you've been worried about has arrived at your doorstep, danger knocks! Consternation, perturbation ominous trepidation! Skin crawling, teeth chattering, and blood-freezing terror! A coffin opens, nails claw the wood, and a wolf howls on a mountaintop in the distance silhouetted by the full moon! Womp Womp Wommmppp! Oh the horror! Muwahaha. Lion, tigers, and bears, OH MY...
No, not the type of fear you can buy for $15 bucks at your local cinema, $20 if it's in 3D IMAX. I'm not talking about the fear of flying or spiders or snakes. Not even crowds, clowns, or foreigners. Not talking about tight spaces. Not talking about water. And definitely not talking about the dark. Did you know that aibohphobia is the fear of palindromes? Erthrophobia is the fear of blushing, embarrassment, and red lights. Ergasiophobia is the fear of being employed. I personally struggled with this for many years along with alektorophobia, which is the fear of chickens. For obvious reasons. There is something called Eleutherophobia which is the fear of freedom. I'd say this is the least of my worries. In fact, I'm rather an eleutherophomaniac!
Erotophobia is the fear of being in a sexual situation, while fenophobia is the fear of sex in general. Mormons are predominantly affected with this disease. Just kidding. And for reference, geliophobia is the fear of laughter. I wonder what the fear for oral sex is? Tinaphobia? Rachelphobia? Ba dum tss. Gerascophobia is the fear of growing, progress, or evolution. A bibliophobe is someone who is afraid of books or libraries, while uranophobia is the fear of Heaven. If you can believe there are actually people that are literally afraid of Heaven! Whether you believe in it or not is one thing, but to be afraid of the actual idea, is downright frightening. Atychiphobia is the fear of failure, which I hear has the largest percentage of undiagnosed cases in the US.
I’m talking about THE FEAR. The one we all have. The one we don’t have a name for that stops us dead in our tracks like a Deer transfixed by the blinding pearlescent fog lights of your Audi. Put yourself in that animal's hooves, somewhere along the entire navigational timeline of your life, you made a decision or decisions that brought it to this point. Did it let fear dictate direction?Standing with its pants down in front of a fast moving, rapidly approaching metallic beast made of not four but four hundred horses barreling down upon you, eight thousand RPMs, screaming move or watch your entire existence come to an end. I am Shiva destroyer of worlds. Do we let it destroy us? Do we cower in its shadow and let it dictate the direction of our own lives? An enemy stands at our gates and the last white flag was just used to bandage your arm. So, I ask you, dear friend, what do we do now? Do we run? Or reload? The Belroq rises from its ashen tomb, breathing fire into the air, standing between us and our path, threatening our very existence, our very freedom, our very lives. Sure, we face total and absolute annihilation, but will we let it ruin that which we have worked so hard for? Will we give in now after we've come so far?
You shall not pass. When caught between two choices, two opposing forces, two complete and utter antithetical anathemas, do you cut off your arm and live or die? Forget the odds, but remember the stakes. When the walls close in and Chewie is banging on the door while Luke is uselessly trying to barricade them with a pipe, and everyone is screaming what do you do? Situations often arise that we find ourselves in, not quite sure how we arrived there, but we can either turn around and go back the way we came or we can hop the fence. We stand frozen while it grips us, shaking us down. It slams you into submission so fast you’d think it were Royce Gracie or Kurt Angle with the Ankle lock. When faced with the Sleeper hold, or The Four figure leg lock, or The Sharpshooter, or The Lion tamer, do you tap out?
|Second WWF picture used in this blog. Suck it.|
Do you run away? Turn on a dime, scoop up your pants, and leave a Roadrunner-esque puff where you body used to be. Peace, see ya later, no thanks, I’m outta here. It could be taking that job, moving to that city, or just asking for her number, but for that split second let your mind wander to what would happen if you just, uh, excuse me, but the moment is gone. The prospect of doing something and failing, the shame, the disappointment, the pain, is often too much for us to gamble against the quiet safe comfort of our own ineptitude. Are we willing to take the risk? Sure it may backfire and blowup in our faces, but at least we went for it right? What if we shot for the moon, bet the house, swung for the fences, sure it's a long shot, and maybe we were being a bit foolish, but at least we weren’t afraid.
The judges of fate toss our lives onto a heavily weighted scale every single day. Somehow of the countless chances you had to avoid this, you now only have two options. Two weapons left in your vast strategic arsenal, neither of which were plan A or B. Do we let it hammer us, stomping and trampling us back into the ground? Do we let it take the bridge? Do we die without a clutching embrace from a fallen comrade with a speech of far away seas and misty childhood nostalgic reverie, cue Taps, and BUH BUH BUHHH...
No. We take a stand and fight back because fear isn't real. It's an invention to make our lives easier, like money or the internet. It's an efficient and expedited route to the end. An unobstructed EZ-pass lane to a life of blindingly bland boredom and missed opportunities. How do we combat this dark shapeless force with inexhaustible resources? You may think simple confidence will help, or mental fortitude, but you'd be wrong. The left side of the brain can't help you. It's near sightedness clouds your vision. And the right brain especially can't help. It tells us to be reasonable, use logic, compute the risks, tally the total, and the odds always come back heavily favored against, but you can't destroy, eliminate, or even subdue fear. It will always be there and we just don't have time for false dichotomies. Slam the over. Roll the dice. Why not? Who cares? Fuck it. According to Mark Twain there is only one resistance to fear and it's not logic, reason, or confidence. It's conqueror, it's vanquisher, it's master...is courage, and that comes from someplace else.